http://www.ukexpert.co.uk/vb/ en Mon, 20 May 2013 09:29:10 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.ukexpert.co.uk/vb/images/misc/rss.png http://www.ukexpert.co.uk/vb/ http://www.ukexpert.co.uk/vb/showthread.php?t=112336&goto=newpost Mon, 06 May 2013 08:41:24 GMT We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity . When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion: (1) The woman buys the food. (2) The woman makes the salad,... We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity . When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

(1) The woman buys the food.

(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.

(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

Note to self:- Must print this out for Eileen as we're having a BBQ lunch time........

(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.

Here comes the important part:
(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

(6) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.

(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat

Important again:
(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.

(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes

And most important of all:
(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ' her night off ', and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.

Note to self:- Must print this out for Eileen as we're having a BBQ for lunch today...... ]]> Jokes Nigel http://www.ukexpert.co.uk/vb/showthread.php?t=112336 http://www.ukexpert.co.uk/vb/showthread.php?t=112329&goto=newpost Thu, 02 May 2013 13:56:44 GMT My budgie broke a leg while playing with one of his toys. Rather than take him to the vet's I made a tiny splint out of two matches. When he started walking his little face lit up! Mind you, so did the rest of him as I had forgotten he had sandpaper on the floor of his cage. ]]> Jokes Nigel http://www.ukexpert.co.uk/vb/showthread.php?t=112329